Aparna...I always love reading your posts...I am trying to write more often....Hope you are out of your turmoil of aug 17...
This wonderful happy process in me now....There is absolutely nothing I seem to want.....
Whenever I look into myself.....which I really prefer not to do...because it can be wastefully obsessive......after all one's mind is just a small little spec in this huge cosmos...its really not worth pondering heavily on its bundle of thoughts.......and I always seriously wonder why so many people are dedicated to excessive analysis....and then they simply forget to be comfy and happy....but to come back to what I was saying...when i do look at my mind...as I do now...and just now...it says... Being a mom is the happiest role I could have,,,..including missing my adult daughter...its a happy emotion really....she has moved on in life....to a new location..a new environment... and is slowly adjusting to being away from home...When I hear her voice getting more comfy each day...I am pleased.....
Did a week of guided meditation...along with many others....directly under none other than the great Swami Dayananda Saraswati....the practise was meant for making one more objective and less subjective.....He used very few sentences...but each of them were so simple, direct and significant. Here are a few of His thoughts.....
Let each in his or her own space remain.
The lovely mountains..the blue sky and the gushing winds are pleasing to you. You do not want them to change...do you? You are at peace with them. Just as you offer them the freedom to be what they are...do the same with significant people in your life.
Feel your inner leisure and extend it into your daily life.
The wise see-ers of mankind sought to clarify the differences between Attachment and Love. Often these two things are mixed up by the human mind. The purpose of knowing these differences is to transcend the grief that is often caused by acquistion, loss, separation, maintainance,bondage and change...... that choicelessly happens with objects, persons, and situations to which we are attached.
Attachment is an expression of bondage. You are emotionally and psychologically dependant on people, objects, money and situations. You are unhappy without them. You know very well that they are constantly changing factors, never perfect and never permanent. You know them to be subject to arrival and departure. You know that there is no absolute completeness or fullness to be found through them or in them or with them. If there is any, then it is relative and never total and absolute. Still you foolishly depend on them or turn to them for joy. In attachment you are a slave. Often you even enjoy being a slave and will not forsake the dependence. Your mind simply wants to be bound, to cling.
Love is an expression of joy. You give of yourself for the sheer joy of surrender and Being. There is no dependence on any person, object or situation. And in Love, others may seek me , need my support to be emotionally, psychologically or materially secure.That you seek me or that I seek you , is a privilege, a gift from above. In Love you are the master and never a slave. In attachment, not only are you a slave...you also enslave others. You tend to say "I allow you" as though doing a favor! In Love, you think and say "I love you" You have dropped ownership and controllership of the other.
Attachment comes from a weak, dependant,insecure mind. A mind whose self worth is low. Low self worth makes one look outside for security. And the world outside will never be able to give you that which you seek from it. This is because the world too is full of limitations. Can an insecure, changing world give one a sense of security?? Rather, one should look inside instead for security. The more your attachments, the greater your insecurity.
Love comes from a strong, secure and independent mind. A secure person needs no one, needs no objects or situations. A secure mind is capable of enjoying the entire creation and its effects. He is capable of seeing harmony in disharmony. He is objective and responsible. A secure mind is capable of balanced action and thought. A secure mind has clarity with respect to his own failings, weaknesses, needs and strengths. This man grows....
In attachment, you maintain all relationships for the purpose of getting something out of them.
In Love, you maintain all relationships and responsibilities for the purpose of giving. Giving includes sharing your thoughts, emotions, your understanding, your knowledge and whatever resources you have that are available to share. There is much to be enjoyed by you in this giving process, the primary joy being expansion. An expanded mind is a light mind. It has no cribs and complaints.It flows easily. It does not make judgements, stick labels and create division. An expanded person laughs easily. For him, nothing really matters & everything is wonderful.
( However, this does not mean that you will forsake your intelligence and allow anyone to tread on you.)
In attachment, there is a high level of expectation. Unfulfilled expectation leads to sorrow of varying degrees. The greater your expectation, the greater your sorrow.
In Love, another's reciprocation is not my concern. Being reciprocal is my concern. There is little scope for sorrow.
In attachment, you are conditioned. You lay down physical and mental conditions. For example, you think "why should I help him, when he did not come to me in my hour of need" Or you think "I blame him or her, for what I am not today" By doing this, you are not going with the flow of both the harmonies and disharmonies of the way your life unfolds. You lay down conditions and more conditions in all your personal transactions, even when not at all required. Most of them become enemies in your own mind, to your own self at some time or the other.
Love is unconditional. You think,say and do that which is appropriate.... at the right place, at the right time and in the best possible way that you know and to the extent that you can. You need not stretch beyond your ability. There is no barter system, there are no balance sheets to tally.
Be as unconditional with the other as you are with yourself. Do I not ever so easily forgive myself all my ever so many lapses ? The kindness that I give to my own self is immense. That I love myself unconditionally is a fact. Do I not always want that the pleased person in me is invoked.....I do.....From that standpoint...the other also seeks the same...Why should I not offer it happily....May this be our approach.
Attachment is unidirectional. Love is multidirectional. Irrespective of divisions, mankind is only One. The sleep state of a beggar is not different from the sleep of a king. I see no reason to not love.
So what then is the litmus test? How do I know if I am attached or I Love ?
Simple: The intensity of disturbances of any form, is directly proportionate to the intensity of attachment. And in Love, there is no sorrow that is worthy of any mention. There is no distress that has been assigned any significant value. On the other hand, value only that you Love. That you are larger than what you thought yourself to be.
The thing to remember is that your travel from attachment to Love, from insecurity to security, from dependence to independance, from bondage to freedom.......this entire journey is to be gradual and steady.There is no tearing hurry. In the interim period, learn the technique of managing your binding likes and dislikes. Learn to transcend them, or drop them..... as much as you can. All attachments should shed off gradually, as though of their own accord. If you try to uproot them in one day, you could suffer a serious relapse. This relapse can enslave you more intensely than before.
Further is is said, that the process of shedding and "converting attachment to Love", is best done by knowledge. Intellectual conviction on the limitations of attachment and on all that which you are attached to, is the seed which is required to be sown. The sowing itself is a gradual process .....which enables the seed to take firm root. Firm conviction is the first and lasting beginning.........
Thereafter, you have been successfully thrown into The Orbit of Love!!!!!
None of this is mine.
I pay tribute to My Guru.